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brianmate

Mutiny on the Bounty




Hi Everyone



There is a very popular quiz on our TV called Pointless that we watch on a fairly regular basis. If you are cynical, something that does not apply to me of course, you could say that the show is pointless. I suspect however that if you are approaching middle age I think that Reality TV programmes are pointless. What bothers me is the word 'reality' as it seems to be the exact opposite of reality. Now we are just about to start what seems like the sixtieth version of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. I have never watched a single programme but it was brought to my attention this week when our Minister of Health during the Covid lockdown, was on our TVs almost every day until he himself broke the Covid rules. Since then he has become just another member of Parliament with, apparently, not much chance of being a minister again in the future. Now he is in Australia to be on the reality show with the excuse that his presence will link MPs to the younger generation and to highlight dyslexia which apparently he suffers from. That is his version without mentioning the fact that he will be paid £400,000 for the pleasure of living in the jungle eating bugs and animal parts. My version is that he is a senior politician who should be working overtime to help the constituents who put him there, especially at this time of national difficulties. I, like many others of a certain age, was brought up to look up to and respect humble doctors, policemen, and teachers, never mind MPs. I would like to think that young people think that he is as irresponsible as I think he is. Apparently, he can be voted out of the show by the audience which tempts me to add my vote in favour of him in the hope that he will remain in Australia for as long as possible. Perhaps then he will return to reality by using his money to help with research into dyslexia.



Just when you thought that things could not get any worse, another crisis is looming. If you fancy a chocolate box while relaxing in the evening, you could try either Celebrations or Heroes. For Celebration lovers, however, there are problems in that many customers do not like the Bounty Bar sweet which contains coconut so these are now being removed from the selection even though the company that makes them will replace them with an alternative sweet if you gather up your Bounty bars and post them back. Now Dot, unlike me, does not like the Bounty bars so I get to eat them all and I am a very satisfied customer but as I have said many times before nobody agrees with anybody about anything anymore. The good news is that I will have to return to salted peanuts or Bombay mix for my comfort fix or if I was really sensible, I would not indulge in any of them. A lady in front of me in the supermarket queue this week gave me some very encouraging news when her small basket of shopping included five bottles of wine. She explained that she had done her shopping and this basket of goodies was for her father. " He drinks a bottle of wine a day" she explained, "half a bottle with his lunch and the other half in the evening". Although his wife who has now died had encouraged him to stop, he continued to enjoy his tipple. He has now just reached middle age (93) so with that news Bounty bars, salted peanuts and Bombay mix are back on my to do list.


If you are a long time Rubbish reader you will know that sixty years ago I worked as a young Surveyor/Estimator for two brothers who owned a quite large building company employing 70 staff. One brother was a bricklayer of dubious ability and the other a joiner with a sideline as a Fruneral (he could not say funeral) Director. He kept a close watch on the local elderly to make sure he did not miss an opportunity and you always knew when he had a customer as he would appear in his 'black'. The problem was that he never seemed to get a straightforward client. On one occasion the poor lady who had died was living in a caravan. She had obviously not been out for some time as it proved impossible to get the poor lady through the caravan door. A team of men were assembled, the end window of the caravan removed and the lady rescued to what would probably be a very large coffin. I always said that I could write a book about my time there or maybe a long running TV series. Oh well, another opportunity missed.


Just a Thought:


If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.


Archaeologists in Egypt have found a pyramid covered with chocolate and hazelnuts. It is believed to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher.


The only people without problems are those in cemeteries.


Brian






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