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brianmate

Arthur and the Lolly Sticks

Hi Everyone



I have to sadly report this week that the Main Contractor is fed up. Nothing annoys her more than when we have just finished lunch, I ask her "What's for tea tonight". The usual reply is "I hate having to think about what we going to have day after day" or something similar. That word "hate" covers many subjects like the weather, motorways, people who are not visitors parking their car by our front door and strong winds that damage her precious plants but thankfully not me, at least not yet. Now this week I thought I had the perfect answer when I read that this young mum had a hundred lolly sticks in a jar each with a meal written on them. Every Sunday she draws seven lolly sticks out of the jar and there you have it, a meal for each day of the week with no arguments from the rest of the family. I thought it was a great idea until I decided I could not face the idea of sucking the life out of a hundred lollies to get the sticks. However, after further consideration I decided that it might be a good idea after all, as long I got to write the meals on the sticks. That way I could write fish, chips and mushy peas on sixty sticks, pasta on twenty, sausage, egg and chips on thirteen, leaving just seven for healthy meals. Knowing how Rubbish I am at winning raffle prizes, I would probably finish up eating seven healthy meals every week.



This week I have still been on the case of the missing train ticket that I told you about last week with my friend Arthur employed by the Avanti train company. To his credit, he has replied to my emails within a day which is very unusual when trying to deal with any company or organisation. He had checked the ticket machine at Stoke station and confirmed that the missing ticket was printed two minutes after the other twenty four. He also said that the train manager could allow a passenger to stay on the train without a ticket in "exception circumstances". I argued that this was an exceptional circumstance in that I had all the paperwork to prove that we had bought and paid for all the tickets. Anyway, after all this Rubbish, Arthur agreed to consider the repayment of the extra ticket we had to buy and a possible payment as a gesture of goodwill. The next day Arthur confirmed that he would reimburse me for the extra ticket but no mention of a goodwill payment. I immediately replied again setting out my case, but suddenly Arthur has gone quiet. He might have gone on a much needed holiday or is just sitting in a darkened room but he will not escape. My advice to anyone in a similar situation is to make it clear that you are not going away and something that I have learned as I approach middle age is to play the age card. Watch this space.


I have heard the words "a screw loose" many times, not that I know anyone with a screw loose of course, but a new word seems to have emerged recently - unhinged. It seems that with a screw loose you can still open the door, but if you are unhinged it is virtually impossible to open the door. Now I thought that I did not know anyone who was unhinged until this week. I intend to keep the identity of the person a closely guarded secret except to say that apparently, he thinks that people regularly eat cats and dogs for dinner in Springfield Ohio.

Just a Thought :


We are a dynamic duo, just like fish and chips.


My friend has a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It's his end of line sale.


You can buy a fine dog, but only love will make him wag his tail.


Brian

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