Hi Everyone
Sadly in our social calendar, it is a fact that funerals are much more frequent than weddings, BBQs, and raves. In the last two weeks, we have been to two funerals of friends. Now I have a thing about funerals that will become apparent. The bar for me was set some years ago when we went to the funeral of a lovely lady who worked for me for a number of years. The celebration of her life which is what it should be for those who have reached middle age was wonderful in that the service captured her life and who she was perfectly. The first of the recent funerals was for our good neighbour who we had shared our lane with for the past 47 years. He was an affable, amusing man who had lived an interesting life. His eulogy captured him, his life and his humour very well but then he completely disappeared from the service until the usual brief farewell at the end. The second was completely different in that the whole of the service was about him, his life, and his achievements. At no point was anyone in doubt that the service was about celebrating him and his life. That for me came near to the bar my lovely lady had set all those years ago. Now that got me thinking. As you know I am nowhere near middle age yet so you will have to hopefully wait for some time yet to experience my funeral but I thought that I might give you a little taster of my wishes. There will be no black, everyone will be asked to dress casually but with a splash of green that I will explain later. I will not be coming into the building to the song Another One Bites the Dust by Queen but there will be some of my favourite jazz. For the wake afterwards, naturally, ice cream and Patreis de Nata (custard tarts) ideally specially imported from Italy and Portugal are a must. Most of all I want to hear laughter.
I saw this week that Donald and Boris had met up for dinner at Donald's place. My first thought was that I would like to have been a fly on the wall to listen in to the conversation. Then I thought why would I want to listen to two men blaming everyone but themselves for their demise. Now Boris has been relieved of his duties as Prime Minister he is apparently swanning around the world earning a few more millions for himself as an after dinner speaker at the expense of serving his constituents who put him in that position in the first place.
If you remember I mentioned earlier about a "splash of green". For the last fifteen years, I have had a season ticket at Stoke City, my local football team. Just before then I had bought a new green anorak which was good quality and became a favourite, and I wore it a lot including when I went to the football game. Now I never wear it except that it has rarely missed a game for the past fifteen years because my anorak has become famous, at least I think it has. I realised that most of the crowd wear fairly dark clothes so my anorak really stands out and even friends far away from me in the stadium can pick me out. This season a couple of photographs have circulated on social media clearly picking out my 'famous' green anorak. With that in mind no doubt my son will be very pleased to wear it at my celebration even though he has been telling me for the last five years that it should be laid to rest if you know what I mean. He does not know of my wishes of course until he reads this Rubbish, and I think in reality he will make sure that it is cremated long before I finally reach middle age.
Just a Thought :
I cannot understand how funeral directors have raised their prices blaming it on the cost of living.
I just got back from my friend's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
What do you call a green anorak that is on fire? A blazer.
Brian
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